there are ways to maintain relationship and the conflicts, can you choose wisely what to do? (5th entry, 4th week topic)

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/SE%2BAsia/Story/STIStory_384358.html?vgnmr=1

This article is basically talking about a 17 years old Indonesian model whom has been married with a son of Kelantan royalty in Malaysia, flees from the prince, while she was in Singapore that day, and reached Jakarta – Indonesia in last Saturday with her mother. She has been married since August last year. The husband, Tengku Temenggong Muhammad Fakhry, and the wife, Manohara Odelia Pinot, are two famous people in their hometown. The husband is basically the prince of Malaysian Royalty, while the wife is a model in her hometown, Indonesia. The gap years between these two people are quite a lot because Ms. Manohara is only 16 while she got married with Mr. Fakhry, which is considered as a grown-up.

The communication interaction between them should be interpersonal because they are committing to spend lives together forever through a wedding vow, and this is included in dyadic communication because it only contains two people to communicate with one another. But instead, after almost a year of marriage, the wife felt that she was not in a “common” peacefully condition of being a wife. However, Manohara did not apply the DeFleur et all (2005) framework, where there are steps from the beginning towards the end which are: engagement, followed with management, and last but not least, disengagement. Manohara did face the phase of engagement and management before and during the marriage life, but after she was about to face disengagement, instead of trying to solve and discuss between her husband, she escaped from the fact and yet from the situation.

There were might be things that attract both parties at the beginning, such as the physical appearance, the woman might attracted the man. And also, there were also possibilities that the woman might become an exchange of rewards, which is about the mother’s or Manohara’s thoughts that Manohara could enjoy and became the happiest girl if she was married with the royal prince of Malaysia.

In this topic, the maintaining process from one and another parties failed because they did not end up in a peaceful way; instead they were trying to cover up their own side. This failure of maintaining is caused by the different perception they are facing after having relational challenges such as unrealistic expectation, aversive communication behaviors and aversive emotional states.

Based through Knapp Model of Relational development, they are facing the coming apart phase in specific; they were facing the differentiating part that may happen because of the reflection that has been developed too fast.

For my opinion, actually it is possible for the wife, Manohara, to solve the problems without have to act and bring this issue to the media, since as known that the husband, Muh. Fakhry is a royalty in Malaysia; she can actually try to solve the problems inside their own community through communicate what she is feeling and what she should have. Because if the condition is like this, it means that both of the parties cannot communication well in terms of verbal and non-verbal communication. However there are two ways to resolve the conflict such as functional and dysfunction. Throughout the article, we can see that Manohara chose to do the dysfunction instead of trying to build a relationship.

As human we have the ability to choose, what we can do is choose everything wise enough. To choose the relationship we build with, to solve conflicts between it. Are you ready enough? You determine it yourself.